London, 9th of Tishri 5784, 24th of September 2023
Until the age of 7 I was afraid to dive into the sea, those wonderful waters of Sardinia so accessible from home. I was terrified of not being able to keep my head above water, not for fear of drowning but for fear of seeing what was underwater. Dark swaying plants, sharp rocks, unfamiliar fish and shells threatened my belief that I knew what to expect from the world around me.
One fine day, during a summer vacation at Capo Testa in the Gallura region, people we knew from the next rock decided that I had to overcome my fear: in one go they released my floaters, they slid me off my inflatable board, and in a flash I was swallowed by the sea. I discovered that with swaying motions of my legs, the rubber fins I always wore propagated me in any direction I wanted. I was still afraid to see, but I enjoyed the embrace of the world of waters. My mother bought me goggles and from that day on I was fascinated with a new realm that was just at the opposite end of the one I already loved to explore every day, the wild, windy, sky-reaching rocky peaks of Gallura. Both these adventures were quiet and reassuring to me.
Mayim Chayim, water is life, Mosès, the Sea of Reeds, Miriam and then the rock …
Water flows, water transforms, water also adapts. In the water I sense no weight, water lets me go while sustaining me. Water flows like the air, but this rekindles my fire while the other puts it out. And it's ok, as long as it puts out regrets, my fear of not belonging and my need for approval in the first place.
Green, serene waters of Regent’s Park, buzzling with life inside and out, please receive this stone from me, I have had it for so long, as a symbol of what in me is old, useless, harmful, which I want to release through you.
Amen