We entered Pesach at the end of last Shabbat, we had the seder remembering the slavery in Egypt but especially the escape from it toward the unknown freedom to nourish our values. What does this mean for me and for my communication? How can all this help me answer those questions I mentioned in my last article "The Webinar"? By starting from my beginnings.
I have been pondering on the choice between: recounting my life over time, perhaps in steps within my possible future articles and reflections on our society and daily life; or following the need I feel today to just put down my most vivid memories, straight away, no frills. A sort of outline that will eventually help me; in the meantime something useful for unravelling the "skein" that I think has perhaps kept my voice buried. I would actually like my voice to be more like a fluffy, breezy cloud that travels here and there, where it is interesting to be.
Despite some concern that this will be a bit too rough for those who might be reading, I have chosen the second way, which I believe will give me the freedom to start breathing again, to stand up in awareness. Indeed, another reason was that it is important to me that my family of origin, who are in the memories, have the opportunity to read, if they so desire, as long as we are all alive.
Today, the 29th of March, 16th of Nissan, we count the first day of the Omer. I read this article https://www.ritualwell.org/ritual/omer-calendar-biblical-womenby Rav Jill Hammer as it was graciously shared by Rav Sylvia R.. It offers a very inspiring new perspective of the traditional counting of the days of the Omer: all about the feminine, and its impact on the relationship between the women and the men of the Tanach, which brought about solidarity, if I may say so. I take this as a sign! It will be my beacon during this new adventure.
Here is an excerpt: “The counting of the Omer, which spans the forty-nine days from Passover to Shavuot, stems from the biblical commandment to set aside one sheaf of barley on each of forty-nine days between the two spring festivals, and then to offer the barley as a sacrifice on Shavuot. After the destruction of the Temple, the command became simply to count the days sequentially: Today is one day of the Omer, today is two days of the Omer… today is one week and one day, that is eight days of the Omer, and so forth.
The Omer also represents the link between Passover and Shavuot—the wandering in the wilderness between freedom and revelation …”
Jewish mystics imagined God as having multiple faces or attributes called sefirot, among which chesed (love or expansiveness), gevurah (strength, severity, or judgment), tiferet (beauty, balance or compassion), and so forth. The mythic characters of the Bible represent these attributes—for example, Abraham represents chesed, while Rachel represents malchut (majesty, and the presence of the indwelling feminine face of God known as the Shekhinah).
… Some Jews who studied the kabbalistic system, particularly Jews interested in musar or the refinement of moral character, saw the counting of the Omer as a way to meditate on seven of these sefirot and include them in one’s own life.
... Each of the weeks of the Omer represents one of these seven attributes.
… One way to refine in oneself the qualities of the sefirot is to meditate on an individual who has those qualities.
The traditional kabbalistic system assigns male biblical characters to the sefirot, but not many female characters. Yet we are all made in the image of God, male and female. One modern understanding of spirituality is that each of us embodies the Divine in a unique way. Through understanding that God appears in many different faces, we can move beyond the idea that God is only one thing—only a father, only a king, only male—and come to understand that God moves through our world in multiple ways.
This calendar offers one biblical woman for each of the forty-nine days of the omer. It is meant both to teach about the women of the Bible and to honor the Shekhinah in every woman. My prayer is that this calendar will help women recognize God in themselves and help men recognize the feminine in their lives."
The days of the Omer in Judaism are a period of mourning (lifted on Lag b'Omer), during which certain restrictions on joyful behaviour are envisioned in order to commemorate the death of 12,000 pairs of disciples of Rabbi Akivà: these deaths were perhaps due to a plague, (the Talmud later justifies the event because they did not "show respect for each other") which broke out in the Land of Israel in those years (under Emperor Hadrian between 135 and 137 c.e.).
What does it mean for me remembering through the days of the Omer? The path from freedom (Pesach) to responsibility (Shavuot) is now in my hands, in my heart and in my mind. When we study the Bible and the stories of the people who represent our ancestral past - with all their dysfunctionalities, wrongdoings, and some of God's commandments that we might abhor - instead of closing the Book in anger or revulsion, we try to interpret as much as possible so that even the negative can help us to improve our present.
I wish I could interpret my story with you, if it could help even one person in the world to neutralise unconscious violence and internalised fear. I realised that I am making a sort of list of the 'days' I have lived through, good and bad: indeed, I found myself reflected in this explanationby the Chief Rabbi of England Ephraim Mirvis on why we are commanded to count the days of the Omer.
LiOr (continued)
The first week of the Omer is dedicated to Chesed, Love. The 1st day of the Omer is represented by the Shekhinah, the divine presence: She appears in the renewal of the new moon, in the study of Torah, in the peace of the Sabbath.(https://www.ritualwell.org/ritual/omer-1)