19th of September 2023 – Silvia's Yahrzeit
Dear Mother, last night marked the beginning of the first anniversary of your death. As you were so fond of doing yourself, I had a nice, long conversation on the phone with Irene, my daughter and your granddaughter, who is now a woman.
We were talking about her work as a family carer, especially with the elderly, which is not always easy. In indeed, it is often complicated to observe our duty to respect 'those who have silver in their hair', when they have beliefs and behaviour that are not precisely respectful of the other's sensitivity, especially when the other is young.
I reminded her that in Judaism, the commandment 'Honour your father and mother' is very important, but that at the same time, the Rabbinic tradition of educational thought allows for the personal assessment by the children as to the extent to which the practical observance of this principle influences their own lives and mental health.
Perhaps because of the late hour, I tried to explain these considerations concisely to Irene, and I did so through the mysterious concept expressed in Jewish life by the phrase that goes something like this: Respect the memory of your parents so your days on the Earth will be long-lived.
I told her that during my Jewish studies, my interpretation of this sentence developed as follows: by keeping those two principles - the commandment to honour one's father and mother and the upholding of the potential to live one's life according to one's own ethics and abilities - keeping them always side-by-side, one in one pocket and one in the other, we can learn and retain the best from what our parents offer us and thus increase and deepen our manifestation in the world, and that of G@d.
You were an important grandmother, very comfortable in your relationship with young people, you used to say that they conveyed life energy to you. That was really because you also radiated life energy to them.
With your encouragement and inspiration, may this reflection of mine be the kick-off for my communication project on Family, Wellbeing of the Person and Solidarity in Society.
With love, Lucia.
Thanks to Ariel for providing a beautiful candle, in memory of her mother Evelyn z''l.